


Just a Crush

by celestialskiff



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-15
Updated: 2010-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialskiff/pseuds/celestialskiff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being attracted to other women was normal, right? Lily was pretty sure that it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [betternovembers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betternovembers/gifts).



Being attracted to other women was normal, right? Lily was pretty sure that it was. All women must notice other women and spot the fullness of their breasts or the shape of their throats against their long hair and think how pretty they looked. Besides, she hung out with guys all the time. She couldn't not notice women when Ted and Barney were pointing them out all the time and telling her exactly what was hot, and Marshall was nodding along and pretending he wasn't looking even though she didn't care who Marshall looked at. God knows she looked too.

So being attracted to other women was definitely normal. She'd definitely decided that. Was being attracted to Robin normal? She was pretty sure all women had little crushes on their best girlfriends, and who wouldn't have a crush on Robin when she was so freaking hot and sometimes Lily just wanted to lick her stomach? And God, Lily had never had a chance to touch anyone's boobs but her own, but damn, she wanted to touch Robin's. She imagined the swell of them against her palm and the softness of the skin and she just wanted to stroke them and lick them and suck them until Robin was gasping and panting under her hands and mouth... And, well, it was totally normal to have fantasies, right?

And, ok, maybe she did have full on crush on Robin. She'd definitely been attracted to other girls, sure, like some of Ted's exes, and she could definitely appreciate how hot the girls that Barney pointed out were, but she'd definitely never had a crush on any of them before. It was like when she first met Marshall and her heart started pounding every time he came into the room and she wondered what he was doing when he wasn't around her, and she learnt his class schedule off by heart. It was a bit like that with Robin. She found herself smiling every time Robin walked into a room, and sometimes her mouth went dry when she was about to say something to her, and well, she just wanted to be around her, dammit. She'd never really felt that way about anyone other than Marshall, but that was ok, she was a women with a very healthy interest in sex, and she couldn't help it if she happened to find Robin very, very attractive.

She'd never had a best girlfriend before either, and maybe this was just how girls felt about their best friends. And Robin was so witty and hot and fun to be around and Lily was really pleased to have her as a friend. So she was pretty damn sure she was just having a totally normal reaction.

So the first time she kissed Robin it did come as a bit of a surprise, because of her observations had taught her anything it was that best friends might hug and sit close together on the couch, but they definitely, definitely didn't kiss. It was during the prom they'd crashed, when Lily had complained that she'd never had a lesbian encounter and she was beginning to feel like her whole life was being swallowed up by her relationship with Marshall and she wasn't her own person any more.

And at first the kiss was brief, a quick peck between friends, but Lily found herself pressing into Robin's body, the warmth of her skin finally against her own, and parting her lips, and tasting Robin in her mouth (she tasted mostly like cough medicine but it was somehow still hot), and feeling Robin respond, her arms tightening around Lily's slight frame and her tongue gently exploring Lily's lower lip. Lily loved kissing, and kissing someone always went right to her groin, but she couldn't believe how wet she was getting just from Robin's tentative lips against hers.

Robin pulled away first, the colour high in her cheeks. “Oh God,” she said. And then, “We should get back out there.”

Lily lay in bed that night listening to Marshall's breathing and tried to convince herself that is was normal. She and Robin hugged all the time after all and it was always nice to feel Robin warm arms around her (though it was usually all too brief) and she'd definitely seen a lot of pornos where best girlfriends kissed each other. That was just pornos though, and was it really bad that she wanted to do it again? Because she really wanted to do it again. She wanted to do it again so badly that it was kind of hard to remain in this bed with Marshall because she wanted to go and kiss Robin so damn much.

She went out the next day, early, and kind of wandered around for a while trying to sort things out in her head. The wedding was so close now and she couldn't afford not to be working on the guest list and what kind of flowers did she want anyway and what kind of cake was it Marshall kept blabbing about? But she couldn't think about the wedding at all right now, so instead she just wandered around, and she wasn't really at all surprised when her wandering turned pretty purposeful and involved getting into a cab and going to Robin's place.

It was still pretty early for a Saturday morning when Lily got there, and when Robin answered the door she was still wearing her robe and Lily's mouth suddenly went dry again because oh God what if Robin didn't want her around and she hadn't thought of what she was going to say and why had she come here?

“Lily,” Robin said, and her voice was slightly husky like she hadn't used it in a while and then she stood back from the door so Lily could walk in. Robin's dogs were wandering around and looking pretty cute, so Lily held out her hand to one and it sniffed it and when she stroked it, it wagged its tail so hard it made a thumping sound on the hardwood floor. Robin really did have a nice place.

“Lily,” Robin was saying again. “What's up?”

And Lily looked up from the dog and stopped thinking about hardwood floors and fur and said, “Uh. I was just in the neighbourhood and I wanted to see you.”

“In the neighbourhood,” Robin repeated, like that was a really profound thing Lily had just said. She looked kind of nervous too, Lily thought.

“About last night...” Lily began, and then bit her lip and stopped.

“Yeah,” Robin said. “What were we thinking? I'm sorry about that, Lily. It won't happen again.”

Lily balled her hands into fists because sometimes that made her feel more brave, and then she said, “But I _want_ it to happen again.”

“I don't...” Robin paused, like there were so many objections in her mind that she didn't know where to start. “I don't even like _girls_.”

“Oh,” Lily said, and she sort of felt like she was sinking into the floor. “I didn't think I did either.”

Robin was quite for a few moments and then she said, “Oh God. Don't look so sad, Lily. Please.”

And Lily realised her eyes were damp and she looked up at Robin and blinked them and Robin came over and put her hand on Lily's shoulder and Lily could suddenly see that Robin's lips were trembling too, but with Robin touching her and that gentle look on Robin's face, Lily forgot what there was to be sad about and she learnt forward and their foreheads rested together lightly. She could feel Robin's breath on her skin and her hair tickling her face, and then Robin's hand found Lily's and suddenly their palms were touching, warm.

After that it was only a moment before they were kissing each other, and, oh God, _how_ they kissed. They started out slowly, and the room was so quiet and so different from the previous night that it felt like their first kiss all over again, and, oh, they were slow, their lips barely touching, their faces pressed close, sharing breath and just tasting each other's skin. And then Robin sighed, a long, slow sigh, like she was giving up some sort of battle with herself and pulled Lily to her, closer, closer, and her fingers wrapped themselves in Lily's hair and they were kissing wet, with their mouths open and their tongues hot and damp and new in each other's mouths and Lily found herself shuddering just from this touch. It felt like she had been waiting all her life to be kissed by Robin like this.

When Robin steered them to the couch it didn't seem like it took long at all before Lily was on top of her and for a second, just for a second, it felt really odd to be straddling her best friend, but only for a second because then they were kissing again, and Robin's kisses seemed to be pretty good at drawing all coherent thoughts out of Lily. Robin's robe was made out of thin silk or satin and didn't seem to cover her skin properly, and Lily could see her nipples, small and erect, through the thin material. The sight made her body hum with arousal.

She kissed Robin's throat, and until she was tasting that skin with her tongue, she'd had no idea how long she'd been wanting to do this. She kissed her and sucked on the place where her neck met shoulder and tasted soap and heat and Robin, and then her hands were fumbling over the alien territory of Robin's sides and hips, and Lily slid her body slightly lower down so she was facing Robin's breasts and their stiff little nipples, and Robin gave a little gasp of approval when Lily kissed her skin just before it met her robe, and then she licked the soft material like it was an extension of Robin's body, and sucked Robin's nipple through the robe.

Robin gasped and bit her lip and then she said, “Let me take this damn robe off.”

They struggled with it for a second, Lily too nervous too undo the sash and so Robin undid it herself and wriggled her arms out of it. It was trapped under their bodies but Lily didn't even notice because she was looking at Robin's breasts, and God, her _breasts_ , with their pinkish aureoles and their darker nipples and the little gasping sound Robin made when Lily reached out and touched one with the very tip of her tongue.

“Get some of these clothes off,” Robin said. “If we're doing this, I want to see you.”

Lily hadn't thought there was any way they _weren't_ doing this, and it felt a bit much to have Robin naked body underneath her while she was still wearing her jeans and her t-shirt and her cute-but-not-too-frumpy cardigan. She tugged the t-shirt and the cardigan off in one quick gesture and leant forward, touching the tip of her nose against Robin's cheek.

“Think you can take my bra off?” she said.

“That won't be a problem,” Robin said, and undid the bra in one smooth motion, her warm hands light on Lily's back, and then she was sliding her hands around to Lily's breasts, and Lily found herself making little gasping noises as Robin ran her fingers around Lily's nipples and then they were just lying there, looking at and touching each other's bodies in Robin's living room, and Lily didn't think she'd ever felt so turned on in her life.

Gradually she slid her hand down Robin's body, and her heart pounded in her throat, like maybe Robin didn't want her to do this, but Robin just gave a gasp of appreciation when Lily's hand pressed into the dampness of her vulva. Suddenly Lily felt terribly unsure of what she was doing, and her fingers stilled and she rested her face against Robin's neck and the felt her cheeks flush.

“I've never done this before,” she said.

“What, and you think I have?” Robin said. “You know what you like though, right?”

“Yeah, that's true,” Lily said and kissed the pale skin of Robin's neck just because she could. Then she sat up and wriggled down the sofa a bit so she was between Robin's legs. Looking at Robin's vulva was completely different from touching her own or having someone else perform oral sex on her, so she felt a bit nervous. Then she leant forward and carefully tasted Robin with the tip of her tongue.

Her nose was suddenly full of Robin's individual smell, and Robin's vulva tasted much more strongly than she had expected it would. She could feel how wet Robin was, and she leant forward, sensing that Robin didn't want her to stop. It became much easier when Robin started making noises: little sighs and gasps and grunts that told Lily she was doing the right things, and she began to like this, tasting Robin like this and feeling her respond under her hands and tongue.

Lily wasn't even entirely sure Robin would come, because she wasn't sure exactly how sex progressed between two women, even if she'd thought about it more often than she was entirely comfortable with, but she did come, much more quickly than Lily had expected, her thighs trembling under Lily's hands and her breath hitching. Lily looked up at her, and thought about how beautiful she was, her eyes closed and her hair spreading out over the pillows, the morning light catching the hollow of her throat and curves of her breasts.

“Kiss me,” Robin said and Lily liked the tone she used, like Robin wasn't used to anyone at all arguing with her about things like _that_.

Lily was glad to oblige and made her way back up the couch and Robin's body, and kissed Robin mouth softly. She could still taste Robin's vulva in her mouth, and she felt Robin's tongue exploring her, tasting her. The kiss was wet and long, and when Robin drew back Lily felt her body humming with arousal, her skin flush with Robin's.

When Robin's hands pressed against her crotch through her jeans, Lily bucked against them, sure she was so wet that it had soaked through her panties and her jeans and was soaking Robin's hand too. She thought she'd come from just _this_ , just Robin's hand against her through her layers of clothing, but then Robin finally undid her clothes and Lily scrambled out of the stiff material and felt herself melt against Robin's fingers. She was almost embarrassed by how wet she was, by how quickly her breath came, by how desperately she rocked against Robin's hands.

When she came, Robin kissed her temple and the soft hair beside her ear, and whispered, “It's hot how turned on you are.”

“Oh God, I could do this forever,” Lily said, and of course they didn't, but they kept kissing and touching and fucking until they were sore and their skin was sticky with sweat and the morning light had changed into the golden light of afternoon and Lily pressed her forehead against Robin's neck and laced their fingers together and listened to her breath.

“I love this couch,” Lily said after a long time.

“Mm,” Robin said. She sounded sleepy. “Why's that?”

“I kind of feel like it was part of this. Like we just had a threesome.”

“With my couch?”

“Yeah. She's one of those older ladies who have really great breasts and she loved watching.”

“So now my couch is a voyeur?” Robin said.

“Mm, and she wears really comfortable bras and when takes them off her breasts sag a little but in a hot way,” Lily said, rearranging her limbs so she was more comfortable.

“You're such a lesbian, Lily,” Robin said, and that made a note of panic rise in Lily's throat. She'd not forgotten Marshall but now she thought of him even more acutely.

“Um. Are you?” Lily said.

“I don't know,” Robin said. “You're amazing, Lily. This was amazing. I don't know if it was so amazing because you're a woman, though, or because you're Lily.”

Lily nodded. She wanted it to be amazing because she was Lily, but she understood what Robin meant. She squeezed Robin's hand in her own, delighting in the feeling of Robin's body beside her own.

Later, they showered together, and later still, Lily sat by the window licking croissant crumbs off her fingers. Robin was moving around her kitchen, gently talking to her dogs and moving things around in her cupboards. Lily sat there, thinking that very soon she was going to have to get up and leave the apartment and then she was going to have to make a lot of decisions one after the other, and it was going to be very difficult and scary and she wished she could just skip it all.

“Sometimes I don't think I'm very brave,” she said to the quiet room. She wasn't quite sure if Robin would hear her, but Robin came out of the kitchen and stood in the doorway, looking at her.

“Lily,” she said softly. “We had a really good morning, right?”

“Yeah,” Lily said. “We did.”

“And we're still best friends, right?”

“Of course,” Lily said, smiling.

“Whatever you do, Lily, it's going to be really hard,” Robin said. “But whatever you do, we're best friends, and you can talk to me, ok?”

And Lily looked at her, the woman whose throat she'd licked, and the woman who she'd had a crush on for so long, and she felt a new rush of longing for her, but she just nodded, and smiled, and whispered a thank you very quietly, but she was pretty sure Robin heard her.

By the time she left the apartment, her heart wasn't pounding in her chest any more. The streets were full of sound and motion, and as Lily felt the crowd surging round her she realised that she could still taste Robin in her mouth, and that, always, she'd know what Robin's body felt like underneath her fingers. She didn't think, in her entire life, she'd ever felt more certain and more sad at the same time.


End file.
